I finally set up a payment plan with my college so I can pay off my debt and then start classes again! Very excited about this, I honestly miss school and studying. Starting to have trouble leaving the house again but I’m continuing to work on it, while at the same time not being too hard on myself. Every day is a chance to make progress.
Bought a few treats lately:
A camelbak water bottle, so I can walk long distances in the heat and have water with me.
Animal Crossing: New Horizons, I have wanted this game so much and am happy to have finally ordered a copy. I loved playing Animal Crossing: New Leaf and this looks great as well. Also got the guidebook! Can’t wait till these two things arrive.
And, I’m buying a Garmin smartwatch next week. My sister has a coupon for any Garmin product and I’ve been wanting something to track my steps. It’s will be my first smartwatch so I’m excited to learn about all the different features it offers.
I’ve been reading a lot. A lot of workbooks on mental health. And I’m currently reading “The Outsider” by Stephen King. It’s definitely intriguing.
I’m trying to motivate myself to stay on top of cleaning my apartment. It’s difficult, but I’m making some progress. I did my most hated household chore yesterday, vacuuming.
Meditate Daily – I’ve started using the app called Balance to help me meditate, it’s been a great way to relieve stress, only a week in and I’m already noticing a difference, so I hope to make it a regular habit.
Read 3 books – Since there’s nothing but time to kill I upped my monthly challenge to 3 instead of 1.
Watch live-streamed mass each Sunday – Since churches are closed I’ve been doing this
Memorize Twinkle Twinkle and Happy Birthday on the Ukulele
Draw – I haven’t been keeping up with drawing recently so I’d like to start doing some artwork again.
Sit outside in the sun – There’s a nice area outside my apartment complex with places to sit and relax, and since the weather is getting nicer and I desperately need vitamin D…
I’m reading a book called Atomic Habits by James clear. It’s about making small changes over time, persistently and by using specifics instead of vague wording. There’s a lot more to the book than just this of course and I highly recommend it.
Anyway for example instead of having a goal stating “I want to lose weight” a much more refined specific version would be something like “I will work out for 30 minutes after my morning cup of coffee” I find this stuff interesting because I’ve been trying to implement good habits into my life and get rid of bad ones.
So here are some habits I’m trying to add into my life.
.Draw more – I will draw/or at least begin a drawing every morning while I have my morning cup of coffee for at least 25 minutes.
Exercise – I will take a walk in the mornings after breakfast and in the afternoon after lunch.
Food – I will sit at my kitchen table when I eat instead of eating mindlessly standing up or in my room. I will not have more than 2 caffeinated cups of coffee a day (it causes anxiety and insomnia for me) I will eat some sort of vegetables at least once a day.
Cleaning: I will sweep the floor every evening after dinner. I will mop/vacuum the floors on Saturdays.
I have an appointment at my college Thursday to see about getting back in classes for the spring semester. Nervous but hopeful and excited as well. All in all things are going very well. I’m stable and happy. I’m doing artwork much more frequently and really able to get lost in it when I do, I struggled with motivation for a long time but all it takes is sitting down with a pencil and starting, that’s the hardest part and the rest follows/flows pretty easily. I’m able to enjoy it more
Oh yeah, I’m at 6 months of recovery from Bulimia!! The official day is October 2nd. Very proud of myself. Trying to think of ways to celebrate, any ideas? 🙂
Things have been going very well in my world. My meds were tweaked just a bit more and it’s the perfect balance where I have full stability but also have the energy and motivation I need, and am not completely sedated out of my mind like I was for awhile.
I’m drawing much more frequently. I’m able to focus, I’ve read a few books already this month. So all in all I’m happy. My case manager is signing me up with a vocational rehab program so I can get a part time job, I feel ready for that. I’m keeping on top of checking for when the apartment I applied to get into is having an opening. It’s looking like it won’t be till after the 2019 holidays because I don’t think anybody’s gonna be moving during them, which is okay. It will be a fresh start whenever it does happen.
I’m proud to say that October will mark 6 months of eating disorder recovery. It’s been a long rocky road but it’s getting much easier over time!
There’s so much information, especially today, available online and in libraries for anyone to access and educate themselves on various topics/disciplines. Unfortunately when in school as a kid, like many I didn’t fully appreciate my free education. As an adult and college student I’ve grown to love learning. Not just to get good grades and graduate, but for the sake of learning itself. I have many interests, including but not limited to;
Italian (Language and Culture)/ Same with Japanese
Music (particularly the violin, used to play, would love to pick it up again)
History (never my favorite subject when I was a kid but now I feel motivated to learn more
Weather/nature (volcanoes, geology)
Whenever I come across something I don’t know much about that even slightly interests me, I see it as a challenge and begin researching and learning what I can. Education is a lifelong journey. It doesn’t have to be complex stuff, it could be as simple as a card game my friend introduced me to, I knew nothing about it and have never played any living card games but I went and learned as much as I could about it, which ended up turning into a big interest/hobby of mine.
I’m very happy that I’ve come to fully appreciate the value of education.
I’ve been very productive lately. Studying math on Khan Academy, Italian on Duolingo, drawing, exercising, reading a lot, cleaning. I feel good! Having trouble sleeping the past few days, it’s going on 5am now, I only got 4 hours of sleep though, same the previous night. Either way, I feel much more motivated which is so good, because I was in a rut for a long time. I’ve been excited about things in my life, and managing my anxiety better. I tend to tell myself “Just Do It” like the Nike catchphrase, when needing or wanting to do certain things but feeling apprehension about it. I just go right into whatever I need to do without thinking about it, the hardest part is starting, whether that be drawing or exercising, once I start I can really get into it and the motivation follows, I had been wasting so much time in my life waiting for the right moment to do things or waiting until the motivation comes to me, and never getting anything done.
I’ve been very exhausted during the day, so much that I fall asleep for an hour or so by the mid-morning/afternoon, so I spoke to my pharmacist about switching one of my medications to night time and she said that was okay, so I’ll be trying that out tomorrow, hoping that helps! I’ve been quite unmotivated lately, which I’m trying to work on. Was feeling depressed for awhile but I seem to be doing better in that regard the past few days. Did some yoga and drew a picture earlier. Need to take some walks during the weekend. It’s going to rain and I’m very happy about that, not a fan of hot weather. I prefer rain or snow actually, something about summer frustrates me. I think it’s because there’s so many people out and about, makes me very anxious. I like the calm feeling of rainy days and the quietness of winter.
I’m trying to find how to get my inspiration back, I used to be inspired easily to write, draw, and do other projects. It’s like I’m missing the spark I used to have. Anyone have any tips?
Really have been getting back into gaming. Lately I’ve been playing Story of Seasons: A Trio of Towns. It’s very relaxing and fun. Also have been messing around on the Sims 4, making weird characters. I am really looking forward to E3 and hopefully finding out news about the new Animal Crossing game, there’s been no details released even though they announced it a long time ago.
Haven’t been posting much the past few days because I was having a lot of difficulty with motivation and was feeling pretty bad. I’m starting to feel more optimistic though and things have calmed down with the voices thankfully.
I’ve been getting behind in my classes due to this, I need to get back on top of things. I know I can do it, I’ve done it before. I just have to push myself a little harder this time.
I’m trying to reconnect with my faith, I’ve felt very disconnected from it the past few months. I plan on going to mass tomorrow evening.
One good thing is I have been going to the gym a couple times a week, I find it really helpful to get excess energy out, it helps me feel more relaxed, and it’s healthy of course.
Since I’ve been getting sleep I’ve been getting a lot of stuff done and have been very motivated. Today I read 90 pages total in two textbooks and a pdf article , went to the store, went to class, plus had lunch with my sister. Yesterday I finished writing a 7 page paper I had procrastinated on, cleaned my apartment, finished coloring a sketch.
I’m extremely happy with this change and hope to keep it up. I got the letter from my professor for my service learning paper so I can volunteer at a local agency for a couple hours then write about it. I decided to sign up to help serve a meal at a non profit organization that cooks dinners for the hungry every evening.