My 2020 Goals

Thought I’d make a post for this upcoming year with my goals. 🙂

  1. Make it to 1 year of eating disorder recovery (April 2nd, 2020 marks one year from when I started recovering from bulimia so I’m over halfway there)
  2. Get dental work completed – I’m in the process of this now, just have a few more cavities to get taken care of due to damage from the years of purging.
  3. Vote in the 2020 presidential election
  4. Start classes again at my college (I’m also in the process of getting registered)
  5. Move into a more affordable apartment.  By this I mean a section 8 type apartment.  I’m on some waiting lists and have been for awhile so I’m hoping something comes through within the next year so I can move and have an easier time financially.
  6. Draw at least a few times a week, work on improving my artwork.
  7. Continue eating healthy, with lots of fruits and vegetables.  Limit junk food.


Creating New Habits/Getting Rid of Bad Ones

I’m reading a book called Atomic Habits by James clear.  It’s about making small changes over time, persistently and by using specifics instead of vague wording.  There’s a lot more to the book than just this of course and I highly recommend it.

Anyway for example instead of  having a goal stating “I want to lose weight” a much more refined specific version would be something like “I will work out for 30 minutes after my morning cup of coffee”  I find this stuff interesting because I’ve been trying to implement good habits into my life and get rid of bad ones.

So here are some habits I’m trying to add into my life.

.Draw more – I will draw/or at least begin a drawing every morning while I have my morning cup of coffee for at least 25 minutes.

Exercise – I will take a walk in the mornings after breakfast and in the afternoon after lunch.

Food – I will sit at my kitchen table when I eat instead of eating mindlessly standing up or in my room.  I will not have more than 2 caffeinated cups of coffee a day (it causes anxiety and insomnia for me) I will eat some sort of vegetables at least once a day.

Cleaning:  I will sweep the floor every evening after dinner.  I will mop/vacuum the floors on Saturdays.


20 by 30




This is a list of 20 things I’d like to do/accomplish by 30 years old.  I was going to do 30 by 30 but couldn’t come up with that many ideas at the moment.  I turned 25 two months ago. So that gives me 5 years to try and do what’s on my list.  This was a lot of fun to make!

  1. Graduate with my associates degree (I’m about halfway done now)
  2. Be able to read Harry Potter series in Italian
  3. Learn how to solve a Rubiks Cube
  4. Have a part time job
  5. Read all of the books I own
  6. See Lindsey Stirling in concert
  7. Try bubble tea
  8. Begin studying Japanese
  9. Go to a zoo
  10. Improve my artwork
  11. Visit NYC
  12. Begin playing the violin again
  13. Go to Lake George
  14. See more baseball games
  15. Learn to use chopsticks
  16. Get a new tattoo
  17. Learn how to cook more
  18. Learn to play Arkham Horror and other board/card games
  19. Buy a PS4 and an Xbox One
  20. Get nose re-pierced

I understand much of this isn’t really significant or ambitious but they’re things that I really want to do, some are a challenge but realistic. 🙂

Goals for 2019

I’ve decided to set some goals for this year.  Normally I go completely overboard and set a massive amount of unrealistic goals and I never accomplish them, because they’re overwhelming and, well, not exactly feasible most of the time.

My goals for this year are the following:

  1. Keep a regulated sleep sleep routine:  I have had so many problems regarding sleep the past several years.  I’m either sleeping way too much or not sleeping enough/at all.  So, I did end up getting on Seroquel recently for sleep and it has been helping immensely.  I generally am able to fall asleep about an hour and a half after I take it.  It slows my racing thoughts and I get good sleep.  The goal then, is to keep going to sleep every night around the same time and getting up around the same time in the morning.  I have a habit of sometimes trying to force myself to stay up for long periods of time because I get excited and come up with ideas of things I want to do and things I want to learn.  I feel very motivated at night, which is annoying because that would be helpful during the day… anyway, I’m going to try my best to stick to my routine because like most people, I’m a mess when my sleep is screwed up.
  2. Eat healthier: I did very well eating healthy for a long time but the past few months have been bad.  I’m obsessed with sugar.  Pastries, cookies, ice cream, candy bars, etc I have been on a massive sugar binge and it needs to stop.  There’s nothing wrong with having treats now and then, but I’ve been way overdoing it. And of course, I need to eat healthier stuff in general.  I’ve been going for the convenience stuff 99% of the time which is not good for health.  I also want to cook more with fresh ingredients and try new foods.
  3. Begin learning Italian: I’ve been doing this on and off for several years but haven’t made much progress because I study it sporadically.   I did take an intro to Italian class at my college which was fun but it only touched on basic stuff and they stopped offering the second level for some reason.  I’ll go months without working on it then suddenly start studying again for a week, and repeat, etc.  I’d like to put more effort into it, be consistent and learn a little more every day.
  4. Be more physically active:  I need to exercise.  I used to go to the gym a lot but I stopped for a long time.  I have a free membership to a gym with my college ID so I really have no excuse.  I’d like to walk more and do yoga when I have time as well.
  5. Devote time to drawing/art: I used to be so passionate about art and would spend hours working on drawings and paintings.  I rarely do it anymore and I really enjoy it so I want to make time for it again.
  6. Improve faith life:  Okay, so I haven’t been going to church much.  Part of it is anxiety related and part of it is not wanting to go out in the weather we’ve been having.  My relationship with God, is basically non-existent as of the past 6 months.  I’ve put God on the back burner of my life which isn’t good.  I used to be more involved in my faith and really want to work on getting connected to it again.

I plan on doing my best to make progress with these goals throughout the year.  I know it will take a lot of work but I’m committed to these goals.  Hopefully I will be able to provide and update several months from now with how things are going with them 🙂

I’ve Come to the Conclusion…

That it’s important to take my meds. It’s also important that I keep up with my day treatment program and appointments.

I have been trying to deny this for a long time but the fact is I have a mental illness. It doesn’t matter what it is called. It impacts my life in various negative ways.

I have a long way to go to reach a good stable period but that’s what I’m aiming for.

Time for positive thoughts, time to make a drastic change in my lifestyle.


These changes start tomorrow.

  • No giving into or dwelling on urges to cut, or drink cough syrup.
  • Better hygiene
  • Positive thinking
  • Taking my meds
  • Being honest with my treatment team
  • Use coping skills to get through difficult feelings (color, journal, pray, play with cats etc)

    In a months time I will be living in my own apartment for the very first time, time to get my **** together

Dream Board

Hello, haven’t wrote in here for some time.  Hope all of you are well!

Recently we did a fun art therapy type project in the group I’m in.  It’s called making a dream board.  There are other names for it I’m sure but basically what you do is get a large piece of construction paper and glue cutouts from magazines onto it.  It’s simple and fun.  The things you glue on are words or phrases and pictures of things you want in life or your goals.

Here’s an example of what one would look like.  If you do this and want to share feel free to post a pic of yours in the comments.dream-board

Also, I wanted to let you all know that I started a new blog.  I will keep this for the mental health stuff but wanted one for all the random crazy crap I’m into, if you think you would be interested go ahead and follow: