I was very depressed for a couple months. It started easing up and I actually feel great for the first time in a long time. Even before I was severely depressed (when it was actually seriously impacting my functioning) I had underlying apathy and negative thoughts. For a long time I wasn’t feeling my feelings as intensely as I normally do. And I feel things very intensely, especially happiness. I’ve always felt blessed in that way. I don’t do drugs but I experimented as a teen and I can honestly say my happiness is actually a more intense/euphoric even physical feeling than any times I had gotten high. I’ve finally broken out of that numbness and gotten back to that. I’m very excited about life, I’m not just walking around like a dead person/zombie now as I was for most of 2018 and the beginning of 2019.
The only issue is I’ve been hearing things more. I don’t know what’s more upsetting, hearing things or feeling like a freak for having those experiences. It’s happened on and off for a large majority of my life so I should be used to it by now I guess, but still for some reason I always feel like I’ve “failed” in some way when they’re back.
Anyway, I just wanted to write an update since I haven’t written much recently. Hope my followers are doing well! 🙂