Halloween is getting closer! The leaves are changing and look gorgeous
I’ve been watching lots of horror movies and books. Read The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson (the book the Netflix show isn’t based on) and it was fantastic! Right now I’m reading Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice
Have been doing a little drawing. Here’s some experimenting with lettering !
I’m reading a book called Atomic Habits by James clear. It’s about making small changes over time, persistently and by using specifics instead of vague wording. There’s a lot more to the book than just this of course and I highly recommend it.
Anyway for example instead of having a goal stating “I want to lose weight” a much more refined specific version would be something like “I will work out for 30 minutes after my morning cup of coffee” I find this stuff interesting because I’ve been trying to implement good habits into my life and get rid of bad ones.
So here are some habits I’m trying to add into my life.
.Draw more – I will draw/or at least begin a drawing every morning while I have my morning cup of coffee for at least 25 minutes.
Exercise – I will take a walk in the mornings after breakfast and in the afternoon after lunch.
Food – I will sit at my kitchen table when I eat instead of eating mindlessly standing up or in my room. I will not have more than 2 caffeinated cups of coffee a day (it causes anxiety and insomnia for me) I will eat some sort of vegetables at least once a day.
Cleaning: I will sweep the floor every evening after dinner. I will mop/vacuum the floors on Saturdays.
This is a list of 20 things I’d like to do/accomplish by 30 years old. I was going to do 30 by 30 but couldn’t come up with that many ideas at the moment. I turned 25 two months ago. So that gives me 5 years to try and do what’s on my list. This was a lot of fun to make!
Graduate with my associates degree (I’m about halfway done now)
Be able to read Harry Potter series in Italian
Learn how to solve a Rubiks Cube
Have a part time job
Read all of the books I own
See Lindsey Stirling in concert
Try bubble tea
Begin studying Japanese
Go to a zoo
Improve my artwork
Begin playing the violin again
Go to Lake George
See more baseball games
Learn to use chopsticks
Get a new tattoo
Learn how to cook more
Learn to play Arkham Horror and other board/card games
Buy a PS4 and an Xbox One
Get nose re-pierced
I understand much of this isn’t really significant or ambitious but they’re things that I really want to do, some are a challenge but realistic. 🙂
I’ve been very exhausted during the day, so much that I fall asleep for an hour or so by the mid-morning/afternoon, so I spoke to my pharmacist about switching one of my medications to night time and she said that was okay, so I’ll be trying that out tomorrow, hoping that helps! I’ve been quite unmotivated lately, which I’m trying to work on. Was feeling depressed for awhile but I seem to be doing better in that regard the past few days. Did some yoga and drew a picture earlier. Need to take some walks during the weekend. It’s going to rain and I’m very happy about that, not a fan of hot weather. I prefer rain or snow actually, something about summer frustrates me. I think it’s because there’s so many people out and about, makes me very anxious. I like the calm feeling of rainy days and the quietness of winter.
I’m trying to find how to get my inspiration back, I used to be inspired easily to write, draw, and do other projects. It’s like I’m missing the spark I used to have. Anyone have any tips?
Really have been getting back into gaming. Lately I’ve been playing Story of Seasons: A Trio of Towns. It’s very relaxing and fun. Also have been messing around on the Sims 4, making weird characters. I am really looking forward to E3 and hopefully finding out news about the new Animal Crossing game, there’s been no details released even though they announced it a long time ago.
The above image is a sketch I did a few months ago. I really enjoy nature! 🙂
I know my posts have been very sporadic and not very interesting. I had some serious struggles with my mental health the past several months and am going through med changes and adjustments. I’m beginning to feel normal and actually happy for the first time in quite awhile. I’m able to sleep too which is always nice!
Right now I’m reading a book called Surviving Schizophrenia by E. Fuller Torrey, M.D. (6th Edition) It’s very interesting and strange at the same time. I’m reading about this stuff and looking back and seeing how things progressed over my teen years to the first major episode when I was 18. I had no clue back then, didn’t recognize any of the signs and symptoms as they slowly crept in. Even years later I had trouble figuring out how it all happened, to me looking back it seemed like all the sudden I lost my mind but that’s definitely not how it actually occurred. There were major signs and problems leading up to the onset. Things I could never explain or even knew there were terms for. Even up till now I’ve always assumed in addition to the schizoaffective I was just a really bizarre person but they were actually signs and symptoms I wasn’t aware of.
I don’t feel disoriented right now, I feel peaceful. I really am hoping this lasts. I’m feeling motivated to get back into my artwork as I’m able to concentrate now. Trying to do things to take care of my mental health. Staying in somewhat of a routine at least with sleeping and eating. Getting some exercise and going out of the house everyday, cleaning, keeping up with personal hygiene, doing things I enjoy. Yes, personal hygiene. That’s embarrassing to say but it’s a struggle with many mental illnesses and tends to really decline when a person isn’t doing well.
So, I hope to start making posts at least somewhat regularly. I hope my readers are doing well!
I also wanted to share two links that I’ve found helpful to refer to when struggling with hearing distressing voices
So… things have been rocky but are looking up. I think part of my problem is that I really dislike needing and asking for help. I called and scheduled an earlier appointment with my therapist, we had one scheduled for a few weeks from now, but I realized I need some support during this time. I’ve never done that before in over 3 years of seeing her. She was completely fine with it of course. I started having re occurrence of symptoms several months ago, but let it go because I thought it wasn’t that big of a deal or important enough to mention. I thought I could deal with it myself, and I did try. I tried very hard, to “fix” the symptoms without informing my doctor or therapist about them, until finally realizing that I need to ask for help, I can’t do everything completely on my own. I can use my coping skills of course, to make things more manageable, but when voices and whatnot are so bad that I’m wanting to escape from life, there’s only so much I can do. Somehow I’ve maintained getting As in the classes I’m taking, and completing huge papers on time. Not exactly sure how, the past couple weeks were kind of a blur. I’m really hard on myself especially with college. I love learning and want the degree I’m working towards more than anything, so when this started affecting my education again I got worried. It’s definitely a good thing the semester ends in two weeks. I will be off till the end of January.
Another issue related to this is that I felt like a complete failure for hearing voices again. I had a year with virtually no symptoms, not even mood problems. It was amazing, the most peaceful time in my life. When I started dealing with this stuff again I felt like I screwed up or did something wrong somehow. I just viewed myself as a failure, like there’s some sort of flaw with me as a person. I’m starting to realize that those beliefs are not true. I’m not a bad person or failure for having symptoms come back. A year with none was great but considering I spent a large part of my life with them it’s unlikely that they would go away 100% forever. I mean, it’s possible, who knows, maybe someday. I’m going to keep moving forward and managing things the best I can, while allowing others to help me as well when necessary.
Pokémon fans will soon be able to dress their real cats with a set of Pokémon-themed hats. Courtesy of Japanese manufacturer Kitan Club, these hats are based on the designs of six original Pokémon – Pikachu, Eevee, Meowth, Vulpix, Jigglypuff and Snorlax. They will be released sometime in January 2019 in Japan, with no current […]