Started off the morning right. Listened to a motivation meditation, and then some podcasts on my faith. Got the laundry done. Had coffee! Feeling pretty upbeat today.
I’m realizing that a lot of the anxiety I have I can control, I mean, I don’t have to dwell on negative things and possibilities, I can control my thoughts, it just takes some work to redirect them. It should get easier with more practice.
All the anxiety in the world going on right now has also gotten me back in touch with my faith. I’m praying again, reading scripture, watching live-streamed mass (since churches are closed right now). So that’s some good news, because I was struggling with it all that for awhile.
I’m also writing what I’m thankful for each day in my journal. Doesn’t have to be anything major, could be as simple as something like, getting free delivery on my medication, having a peaceful morning, sitting in the sun.. etc. Anything to remind me that no matter what’s going on there are positive things even if they may seem small and silly.
Hello again, been a bit since I’ve posted. I’ve been doing very well. I’m staying home and keeping my hands clean, etc..limit social media and news sites so I’m not bombarded with information regarding the virus 24/7 and am remaining hopeful and positive throughout this thanks to my faith and feeling better on my newer meds.
So what I’ve been doing with my time is
- Playing videogames
- Watching movies, shows
- Playing my Ukulele
- Playing my single player rpg living card game
- thinking about ways I want to decorate and furnish my apartment more when I have the money to do so
- Browsing online, mostly amazon and other shopping sites, pinterest, Youtube
Also, virtual tours to museums, and different places. Listening to music.
Using free education sites like Khan Academy and Duolingo
Studying the Bible, praying, and whatnot to get back into my Catholic faith. “Attending” live streamed mass for the time being while churches are closed
Looking at and sharing cat pictures on Facebook 🙂
And drinking lots of coffee since I finally got a replacement carafe for my coffeemaker!
So all that is keeping me pretty busy and in a good mood. I was waiting to hear back from supportive employment but that’s on hold for now due to the situation. My psychiatrist, therapist, and care manager appointments are all being done over the phone for now, and my meds are being mailed to me thanks to CVS and their current free delivery service for prescriptions and other essentials. So really, the only thing I have to go out for is groceries once in awhile, otherwise, I’m inside. There is a nice area with a bunch of benches and tables outside at my apartment building, so I can sit out there when the sun is out if I want to get some fresh air (we just got 7 inches of snow! it’s almost all melted though now)
Spring is definitely on it’s way. I no longer need a winter coat when going out. It’s going to be in the high 60’s here in NY on Monday. While I prefer winter and autumn to spring and summer, it will be nice to get some sunshine and be able to go out and walk more. I probably really need the vitamin D too.
I played my ukulele today, afraid of bothering the neighbors but I don’t think it’s going to be an issue. For one, it’s not that loud to begin with. Also, my next door neighbor plays his music pretty loudly, more specifically, the song burn baby burn on repeat every day…. lol
I’m waiting to find out more from my care manager about supportive employment/voc rehab. So hopefully I can get into some sort of program like that and get a part time job by this summer.
Things are going pretty well, I decided on making peanut butter blossom cookies for the potluck at the end of this month. They’re simple, delicious, and easy on my budget. So hopefully that goes well.
Here’s dinner I made the other night, really simple, just some baby red butter lettuce w/ raspberry vinaigrette and baked chicken breast. Have been eating a little healthier lately.
Starting to sketch again. It’s been awhile since I’ve done anything more in depth, I need to keep practicing every day. Here’s a rough sketch of yugioh 🙂
Thought I’d start posting my monthly goals to help keep me more accountable 🙂
- Read 1 new book
- I’ve been having trouble concentrating lately so I’d like to improve my focus and get back into reading regularly. My goal of 115 books for the year of 2020 on Goodreads was a bit overly ambitious…. lol
- Get a physical
- This is long overdue so it’s definitely time to get it over with
- Budget money more wisely
- I’ve been struggling with budgeting for awhile now, not to mention the manic shopping sprees, so I need to be careful with the impulsive urges to buy tons of stuff I don’t need.
- Make food to bring to potluck lunch
- My apartment complex is having a potluck lunch on the last day of March, so I need to figure out some kind of food to make to bring to it, I’m still deciding, so if anyone has any suggestions feel free to leave them in the comment section!
- Keep apartment clean
- Another thing I’ve struggled with for some time, during my depressive episodes I have no motivation to do anything especially not clean, but it’s important to do so it’s something I need to work on. And of course, I have to admit, sometimes I’m just being outright lazy
- Cut back on screen time
- I want to spend more time outside, in nature, and with friends because the weather is getting nicer and I’m starting to be online way too much, which tends to happen in the winter when I’m inside more often. Plus with my phone, I have major FOMO (fear of missing out) so I compulsively check it constantly.
Those are my goals for the month, I will do a post at the end of the month going over how things went with each one of them, I feel this is a good way to motivate me!
Thanks for reading!
Saw my therapist today and we discussed the stress the move caused and also my impulsive shopping sprees. She’s glad my doctor is taking me off abilify and switching me back to vraylar. It worked wonderfully for me in the past but my insurance kept denying it. I got samples though and can keep getting them until my patient assistance program form is processed to help me get it for free. I’ve been dealing with some depression and paranoia the past month. I’m also tapering off paxil and onto zoloft which I have also been on in the past and found more effective. Lots of tapering and dose changes over the next week or so, hopefully it goes smoothly.
Trying to decide what dessert to make for St. Patrick’s Day, it’s been a looong time since I’ve posted anything food/cooking related here so I’d like to start doing that more. I’m thinking of possibly doing those Oreo truffles dipped in white chocolate that’s dyed green.
After this weekend I’ll be completely finished with the old apartment and won’t have to keep running back and forth between the two anymore. So excited to have that done with! It’s been stressing me out the past few weeks.
I’m going to start using Khan Academy and Duolingo again to have something to do while I save money to re-start classes at my college. Really enjoy learning!
I recently bought The LEGO Movie 2 Videogame for my Nintendo Switch. I love the lego games so I’m looking forward to getting into it. There’s always so much to do and unlock. I actually bought it at a Gamestop which was fun, normally I just order my games through Amazon but it was really fun being in a physical store with all the games and merchandise around, really tempting to spend lots of money haha.
I’m counting down until Animal Crossing: New Horizons is released, not too much longer! Can’t wait! I love AC games. They’ve always been so relaxing and beneficial to my mental health. The graphics look wonderful. I can definitely see myself putting hundreds plus hours into it like I’ve done with the previous games.
Still playing Stardew Valley. Joined a group for the game on Facebook and I’m amazed at everyone’s farms. I haven’t really put any thought into mine, it’s honestly just a big mess. But I’m getting inspired to make my farm nice. Finally saved up enough to get the final house upgrade, now I’m just collecting the hardwood required for it. It’s really astounding how much there is to do in SV. It was definitely a good purchase.
I finished the main game in Pokemon Sword, now I’m just working on filling up my Pokedex and breeding Pokemon to try and get shinies. I’m looking forward to the expansion pass coming out.
That’s all that’s going on for me right now in terms of games. I’m planning on saving money for an Xbox one, so hopefully I can get it by the summer.
Thanks for reading!
Was up last night bored so decided to do another quick sketch of Eevee (from Pokemon). I think my last one was better but I’ve been out of practice with drawing for a month or so with all the stuff going on with moving.
I need to get my art supplies from my old apartment over here, should be able to soon, probably during the upcoming week. It’s been awhile since I’ve drawn and I’m missing it.
Have a super busy week coming up. Tons of things get done and many appointments. Hard to believe I’ve already been in my new place a week! Times been flying by. My sister is coming over for coffee and cheesecake tomorrow, looking forward to that. I love my new place, I can’t say that enough, actually its an understatement, this place is so wonderful and so much better in many ways than my last apartment. I feel so thankful to have gotten an apartment here. It took a long time but the wait was definitely worth it.
Had a productive day, cleaning and grocery shopping. Picked up some requests from the library. I’m currently reading Electroboy: A Memoir of Mania by Andy Behrman.
As for my mental health, I’m doing great. Every now and then I get some breakthrough symptoms but I can deal with that and otherwise my meds are doing a great job at controlling my symptoms. Hardly ever having hallucinations or paranoia now, and haven’t been manic since the spring. I did have some depression following the mania but it’s gotten a lot better since my Wellbutrin was increased. I’m sure being in a better environment is helping too.
My next blog post will be videogame related and then around the same time a food/cooking themed post as well.
Thanks for reading!