Setbacks

Summerflower.jpg

Flower I took a picture of this summer

 

I’ve been struggling with my eating disorder lately, I did so well for 3 months then the past week things kind of fell apart.  I started buying tons of junk food.  I’m not very good at doing anything in moderation, I tend towards the extreme of not eating nearly enough to the opposite of bingeing.  I kept things pretty balanced for awhile and I guess I convinced myself that I would never have another problem with this again so I ended up impulsively buying a lot of junk food trying to reason that I’d “have it around the house for a treat once in awhile” and well, I ended up bingeing for several days and purging.  I feel disappointed with myself and disgusted but I’m trying to not let this equate to “failure” in my mind.  It’s a setback that I can learn from and move on.  Obviously I learned having large quantities of junk food in my house is not an option, I don’t know how to control myself and it’s just a disaster waiting to happen.  There’s nothing wrong with having treats once in awhile but I realize I don’t have that kind of self control yet, maybe someday but I think it’s too early in recovery right now for that.  I’m just going to move forward from this and keep working on my recovery.

Thanks for reading!

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