It’s 2 and a half months into my eating disorder recovery and I’m doing very well. I’m to the point where I eat when I’m hungry and don’t obsess about whether I should or not. I think one thing that’s helping is that I’m happy in my life. I have hobbies and goals again. There was a long time where I wasn’t motivated or excited about anything like I normally am. Nothing held my interest, I just felt flat emotionally. When I’m doing well, I’m generally a very happy person that enjoys life. That disappeared for awhile, and I was indifferent about everything. Last Christmas was the first time in my life that I didn’t care one way or another about the holidays. Normally I get so excited over the them, like crazy excited! I’m sure the med changes have helped a lot. Now that I’m stable mentally I’m able to fully enjoy my life again.
So back to the recovery part, I still worry about my weight, but I’m not obsessed about it. I’m not doing stupid, dangerous things to be a certain weight anymore. Finding things outside myself has helped immensely. My faith, taking walks/being outside, art, music, and other hobbies, I have actual interests besides what I weigh for once. I was so wrapped up in my ridiculous goal to be the “perfect” weight that the rest of my life was put on the back burner. I may have gained some recently with a medication increase but it’s not the end of the world.
I’m just me and I’m learning to be okay with that. 🙂