I finally got some sleep. I think it’s possible that not eating enough was contributing to it as well as all the other stuff. I barely ate anything for a couple weeks and was weighing myself 5 or more times a day. I feel SO much better since eating. I can’t do that anymore, it’s ridiculous. 6 years of bulimia, it’s been like 3 months without purging but I’ve been trying to hold onto restricting, I have to let it go completely. I forced myself to stay in bed last night even though I wanted to get up and pace around like I normally do because I had a lot of thoughts going through my mind and it was getting me really energized. So it was a long night of tossing and turning but I eventually fell asleep.
I’m really trying to make changes in my life. I did stress relief yoga last night and it felt really good. Went grocery shopping today so I finally have actual legitimate food in my apartment other than crackers. Working on dealing with my anxiety rather than letting it run rampant like it’s been the past few months.
I’m using my wax melter I recently bought, there are so many great scents available. Drawing, coloring, journaling. Just basically doing everything I can to manage stress.
Found out I qualify for the Dean’s list at my college. My GPA would technically be higher than that but I had that one semester where I stopped showing up a couple years ago because of ending up in the hospital, so since I didn’t withdraw from those classes in time my GPA went way down. It’s going back up though! After next semester I’ll be halfway done with my associates of science in human services. It’s taken me awhile since I’ve had to do it part time and take time off but I’m getting there. 🙂
Here’s a picture of my church from midnight mass on Christmas Eve