Anxiety and Other Stuff

My anxiety has been extremely bad the past several weeks, daily panic attacks sometimes multiple times a day.  I’m not really sure why, they seem to be pretty random.  However, the past two days were panic free.  I’ve still had some severe anxiety but I’ve been able to manage it by using my top 3 coping skills: reading, listening to music, and drawing.  I’ve also been getting out of the house more.  I hung out with my friend yesterday.  We got a pizza and watched Men In Black: International.  Had a lot of fun!  It had been quite awhile since we spent time together.  Taking walks has been a great way to get rid of nervous energy too. My mood has been great, no psychotic symptoms and I’m sleeping well.  Feel very stable.  It’s amazing really.  I’m doing the best I have in a long time and I’m very thankful for that.

I’m able to focus on drawing more often which is great, it’s becoming second nature again.

The weather has been amazing.  As I’m sure I’ve mentioned it before, I love cold weather.  I’d take freezing temps over a hot summer any day.  The meds I take cause heat intolerance as well so I’m much happier in the Fall and Winter.

I’m still working on getting into a new/more affordable apartment.  I’m on another waiting list now in addition to the other place I applied to so now I have two options, and whichever comes through first I’ll make a decision then.  It could be awhile though.  My case manager is great and always on top of things which I appreciate.  Hopefully something becomes available by the beginning of 2020.

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Spooky Time!

Halloween is getting closer! The leaves are changing and look gorgeous

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I’ve been watching lots of horror movies and books. Read The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson (the book the Netflix show isn’t based on) and it was fantastic! Right now I’m reading Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice

Have been doing a little drawing. Here’s some experimenting with lettering !

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Creating New Habits/Getting Rid of Bad Ones

I’m reading a book called Atomic Habits by James clear.  It’s about making small changes over time, persistently and by using specifics instead of vague wording.  There’s a lot more to the book than just this of course and I highly recommend it.

Anyway for example instead of  having a goal stating “I want to lose weight” a much more refined specific version would be something like “I will work out for 30 minutes after my morning cup of coffee”  I find this stuff interesting because I’ve been trying to implement good habits into my life and get rid of bad ones.

So here are some habits I’m trying to add into my life.

.Draw more – I will draw/or at least begin a drawing every morning while I have my morning cup of coffee for at least 25 minutes.

Exercise – I will take a walk in the mornings after breakfast and in the afternoon after lunch.

Food – I will sit at my kitchen table when I eat instead of eating mindlessly standing up or in my room.  I will not have more than 2 caffeinated cups of coffee a day (it causes anxiety and insomnia for me) I will eat some sort of vegetables at least once a day.

Cleaning:  I will sweep the floor every evening after dinner.  I will mop/vacuum the floors on Saturdays.

 

Celebrating!

Tomorrow is the day I’ve been working really hard on getting to, it may not seem like much but it’s a huge deal for me.  6 months of recovery from bulimia.  The first day of April this year I ended up going to the hospital due to severe dehydration and an irregular heartbeat and the day after that I started getting serious about my recovery.  It hasn’t been easy, there have been ups and downs but I’ve made it.  Next goal is to make it to a year, and then the rest of my life! 🙂

Yay! 6 Months of Recovery from Bulimia!

I have an appointment at my college Thursday to see about getting back in classes for the spring semester. Nervous but hopeful and excited as well.  All in all things are going very well. I’m stable and happy. I’m doing artwork much more frequently and really able to get lost in it when I do, I struggled with motivation for a long time but all it takes is sitting down with a pencil and starting, that’s the hardest part and the rest follows/flows pretty easily.  I’m able to enjoy it more

Oh yeah, I’m at 6 months of recovery from Bulimia!!  The official day is October 2nd. Very proud of myself. Trying to think of ways to celebrate, any ideas? 🙂