Recovery Update

Flowers

It’s 2 and a half months into my eating disorder recovery and I’m doing very well.  I’m to the point where I eat when I’m hungry and don’t obsess about whether I should or not.  I think one thing that’s helping is that I’m happy in my life.  I have hobbies and goals again.  There was a long time where I wasn’t motivated or excited about anything like I normally am.  Nothing held my interest, I just felt flat emotionally.  When I’m doing well, I’m generally a very happy person that enjoys life.  That disappeared for awhile, and I was indifferent about everything.  Last Christmas was the first time in my life that I didn’t care one way or another about the holidays.  Normally I get so excited over the them, like crazy excited! I’m sure the med changes have helped a lot.  Now that I’m stable mentally I’m able to fully enjoy my life again.

So back to the recovery part, I still worry about my weight, but I’m not obsessed about it.  I’m not doing stupid, dangerous things to be a certain weight anymore.  Finding things outside myself has helped immensely.  My faith, taking walks/being outside, art, music, and other hobbies, I have actual interests besides what I weigh for once. I was so wrapped up in my ridiculous goal to be the “perfect” weight that the rest of my life was put on the back burner.   I may have gained some recently with a medication increase but it’s not the end of the world.

I’m just me and I’m learning to be okay with that. 🙂

Random Post/Playing with My Camera

 

Have been having fun with my digital camera lately.  I still use my 3DS despite having a Nintendo Switch, it has a wonderful library of games available too so I will keep on playing it.  The one I have is the Galaxy New Nintendo 3DS XL.

The Arkham Horror thing is a living card game one of my friends got me into, I finally have a desk set up so I can play.

The Animal Drawing book I got for $2 at a used bookstore the other day, really can’t beat that!  I love going there, they have such a huge variety of books for awesome prices.  Hopefully it will help guide me in my drawings.

Of course Pikachu is there, huge Pokemon fan, have been since I was a little kid and probably will be till the day I die!

Just Do It

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I’ve been very productive lately.  Studying math on Khan Academy, Italian on Duolingo, drawing, exercising, reading a lot, cleaning.  I feel good!  Having trouble sleeping the past few days, it’s going on 5am now, I only got 4 hours of sleep though, same the previous night.  Either way, I feel much more motivated which is so good, because I was in a rut for a long time.  I’ve been excited about things in my life, and managing my anxiety better.  I tend to tell myself “Just Do It” like the Nike catchphrase, when needing or wanting to do certain things but feeling apprehension about it.  I just go right into whatever I need to do without thinking about it, the hardest part is starting, whether that be drawing or exercising, once I start I can really get into it and the motivation follows, I had been wasting so much time in my life waiting for the right moment to do things or waiting until the motivation comes to me, and never getting anything done.

Thanks for reading!

What am I Playing?

Animalcrossing

 

On my Nintendo Switch I’m playing Yonder: The Cloud Catcher Chronicles.  This is a fun, relaxing game with beautiful graphics.  It’s been described by some people as being kinda like a cross between Zelda and Stardew Valley, and in my opinion that is a fantastic combo!

On my Xbox 360 I’m playing Smackdown Vs Raw 2009.  I don’t have an Xbox One yet, I plan on getting one, but I only just recently (One year ago) received the 360 as a gift from my brother in-law since he upgraded to the Xbox One.  Prior to that I had never had any consoles by Microsoft, I mainly had Nintendo systems.  I always loved the Smackdown Vs. Raw games, I used to be a huge wrestling fan, it started with a crush on John Cena over 10 years ago haha but I eventually really got into it.  I remember playing one on my PS2 and loving it so much, I really enjoy the character creation thing, I love making really bizarre characters 🙂  It’s very nostalgic for me.  The main reason I got the 2009 version (I’m aware there’s much more recent versions) is because I know all the wrestlers from then, I’m not familiar with any of the newer ones.

Of course, I’m still constantly playing Animal Crossing: New Leaf on my Nintendo 3DS. It’s so relaxing, and I’ve had the game for over 5 years but I’m just this past year getting into it since I’ve discovered all the things you can do.  I’m still paying off my home loan from Tom Nook, it seems like it’s taking forever!  But it’s a lot of fun.  My town is called Mapleton, it has a long way to go. I’m really hoping for news on AC for the Switch tomorrow. Either way I have lots to do in New Leaf for now.

Here is my backlog of games, there’s 17 of them I own that I’m wanting to play within the next year or so.  I have many other games but these are on my priority list.

Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

The Sims 4

The Sims 3

LEGO The Hobbit

LEGO The Lord of the Rings

Call of Duty Advanced Warfare

Alan Wake

Minecraft

LEGO Harry Potter (Years 1-4 and 5-7)

Grand Theft Auto IV

Fantasy Life

LEGO The Incredibles

Call of Dury 2

Skyrim

Red Dead Redemption (The first one)

Yo-Kai Watch

Skyrim

 

It’s Raining in My Apartment

My ceiling is dripping, it has been almost all day for the past several days.  Maintenance is supposed to find out what the problem is on Monday.  This was a huge issue like 2 years ago, I had to have half my ceiling replaced.  Now it’s happening again.  It’s driving me crazy.  I just want this resolved as soon and as fast as possible.  I hate having a bunch of people in my apartment doing work.  Especially with my 2 cats here, they get scared of people they don’t know and hide.

I’ve been playing Yonder: The Cloud Catcher Chronicles for the Nintendo Switch and OMG it’s amazing!  The graphics are stunning, and the gameplay fun and relaxing.  I’m just 16% complete so far and am in no hurry to finish, exploring the island of Gemea is so much fun.

I’m anxiously awaiting and hoping for information on the new Animal Crossing game for the Switch at E3!

Here’s a few screenshots of Yonder:

Yonder 3Yonder2

Update

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I love nature, this is a picture I took around the autumn of this year

I’m extremely frustrated with the place I currently live, I’m trying to get into a different apartment, hoping there’s an opening soon in the place I applied to.

I was struggling very badly with sleep for awhile but my seroquel was increased and I’ve been getting great rest.  I was actually hallucinating from so much sleep deprivation, that’s how I spent my birthday

I plan on doing some things I’ve been putting off for way too long next week.  Dentist, and also getting a physical.  Trying to stop putting stuff off and procrastinating and just do what I need to when I should.  I’m a little worried about going to the dentist.  A few years ago I got all the work I needed to get done from the damage due to purging but I had maybe a 6 month long relapse since then and I’m scared to find out how much I screwed up my teeth again.  I really hope this will be the last time I have to deal with this, I know I’ll have to get a lot of work done.

This coming weekend is going to be relaxing.  I’m going to make peanut butter fudge and enjoy the new game I bought for my Nintendo Switch, Yonder: The Cloud Catcher Chronicles.  It looks like an amazing game from what I’ve seen!

 

Thanks for reading! 🙂

Update: Missing Inspiration

I’ve been very exhausted during the day, so much that I fall asleep for an hour or so by the mid-morning/afternoon, so I spoke to my pharmacist about switching one of my medications to night time and she said that was okay, so I’ll be trying that out tomorrow, hoping that helps!  I’ve been quite unmotivated lately, which I’m trying to work on.  Was feeling depressed for awhile but I seem to be doing better in that regard the past few days.  Did some yoga and drew a picture earlier.  Need to take some walks during the weekend.  It’s going to rain and I’m very happy about that, not a fan of hot weather.  I prefer rain or snow actually, something about summer frustrates me.  I think it’s because there’s so many people out and about, makes me very anxious.  I like the calm feeling of rainy days and the quietness of winter.

I’m trying to find how to get my inspiration back, I used to be inspired easily to write, draw, and do other projects. It’s like I’m missing the spark I used to have.  Anyone have any tips?

Really have been getting back into gaming.  Lately I’ve been playing Story of Seasons: A Trio of Towns.  It’s very relaxing and fun.  Also have been messing around on the Sims 4, making weird characters. I am really looking forward to E3 and hopefully finding out news about the new Animal Crossing game, there’s been no details released even though they announced it a long time ago.

Caught Zapdos today on Lets Go Pikachu!

Zapados

 

Spring Cleaning

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I’m thinking about volunteering this summer. I’m not sure where yet but there are many opportunities where I live.  It would be great to get out of the house, deal with my social anxiety, and gain some experience.  I’d like to eventually get a job of course, but I’m taking things one step at a time.  I have volunteered a few times during the past year at different places, one time serving a community meal at a church/charity organization and one time at a local festival and I really enjoyed it.  It was difficult to put myself out there and do something I had never done before but they both ended up being great experiences.  I get stuck in a rut, the more I avoid social stuff the harder it gets to get out there and do new things.  I’m working on it though, I’m setting reasonable goals for myself.

I’ve been getting a lot of exercise in lately so ended up being exhausted and taking a nap today which I usually don’t do.  It was definitely needed though.  I downloaded The Sims 4, it’s free to download on Origin until May 28th in case any Sims fans are reading and would like to get it.  I also finally found out about Nintendo platinum and gold points, so I redeemed some for a few themes for my 3DS.

It’s been hot here lately, but we had thunderstorms today which was nice.  I’m hoping to get some drawing done this weekend.

It’s spring which means I’m going to spend a majority of the weekend cleaning like crazy, I want to make my place look great.  It needs a deep cleaning and I need to go through my clothes and figure out what I need, and don’t need anymore, then put away my cold weather stuff.

 

Thanks for reading!