Buon Pomeriggio! (Good Afternoon!)

Hello, I’d like to update.  It has been forever, literally, since I last wrote in here!  So much has gone on.  My mom passed away, I moved to a different state.  Not sure if I wrote about that yet or not.  I am back in college. In my second semester.  I am majoring in human services and plan on transferring to a 4 year university eventually to get a masters degree in social work.  It is my dream to work in the mental health field as a social worker.  I have been inspired by the many social workers I know and ones who have worked with me through out my struggle with mental illness.  I would love to work with people who are going through similar type stuff and need help.  I finally found something I have passion about and a goal I can achieve.

I still go through some up and downs, mainly when I have too much time by myself in the house but I am stable and have been doing great on my meds.  I plan on staying on them as they work great and I have no bad side effects.  Not sure what direction I’d like to take this blog in, if you have any suggestions or ideas for posts feel free to message me or leave me a comment.  I am sorry to my subscribers for being gone for so long.

By the way, the title is in Italian, ciao 🙂


I’ve Come to the Conclusion…

That it’s important to take my meds. It’s also important that I keep up with my day treatment program and appointments.

I have been trying to deny this for a long time but the fact is I have a mental illness. It doesn’t matter what it is called. It impacts my life in various negative ways.

I have a long way to go to reach a good stable period but that’s what I’m aiming for.

Time for positive thoughts, time to make a drastic change in my lifestyle.


These changes start tomorrow.

  • No giving into or dwelling on urges to cut, or drink cough syrup.
  • Better hygiene
  • Positive thinking
  • Taking my meds
  • Being honest with my treatment team
  • Use coping skills to get through difficult feelings (color, journal, pray, play with cats etc)

    In a months time I will be living in my own apartment for the very first time, time to get my **** together

The Misconceptions of Schizoaffective Disorder

Great entry!

A Schizoaffective Story

There are many misconceptions about schizoaffective disorder, schizophrenia and bipolar. This is due to the lack of education surrounding mental health. Many of these misconceptions can increase the level of stigma which people suffering from these illnesses are exposed to. Therefore it is important to address these misconceptions.

Misconception #1

Schizophrenia is dissociative identity disorder (previously known as multiple personality disorder).

Dissociate identity disorder (DID) is characterized by at least two separate and distinct personalities or split identities in a person. People suffering from DID may experience psychotic symptoms, but it is in no way related to schizophrenia. The majority of people suffering from DID refer to their other identities or personalities as their alters; each has their own age, sex, race, gender as well as their own postures, gestures, and distinct way of talking.

Misconception #2

People with schizophrenia are violent.

This is one of the most common misconceptions…

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Recent Hospital Stay {trigger warning}

I was recently in the hospital following a suicide attempt.

Long story short, I was inpatient for about a week and my meds were increased now I’m home.

If you don’t know, I have Schizoaffective Disorder.  The paranoia and depression was really wearing me down.  Sometimes you don’t even realize anything’s wrong until you get to that point.

I started working through a CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) book I got awhile back and it seems to be helping me  a lot.  My anxiety levels are much better now and my mood feels a lot more stable.

Also starting therapy at a local clinic, I just moved here and it took awhile to get set up somewhere.

If you’re feeling suicidal please talk to someone or ask for help, life is to precious to be doing the stupid things I’ve done like overdosing for example.  There is help out there, you may have to push to get it and it may take a lot of work on your part as well but you can do it.

Dream Board

Hello, haven’t wrote in here for some time.  Hope all of you are well!

Recently we did a fun art therapy type project in the group I’m in.  It’s called making a dream board.  There are other names for it I’m sure but basically what you do is get a large piece of construction paper and glue cutouts from magazines onto it.  It’s simple and fun.  The things you glue on are words or phrases and pictures of things you want in life or your goals.

Here’s an example of what one would look like.  If you do this and want to share feel free to post a pic of yours in the comments.dream-board

Also, I wanted to let you all know that I started a new blog.  I will keep this for the mental health stuff but wanted one for all the random crazy crap I’m into, if you think you would be interested go ahead and follow: https://bluebirdsblog2016.wordpress.com/


Happy Thanksgiving! (I know it’s early)

I have been having trouble coming up with topics lately, if you have any suggestions let me know in the comments.

I know the holidays are tough for a lot of people.  They can be very stressful.  I’m lucky in a way.  It’s just me and my mom and we usually do the same thing for Thanksgiving every year.  A big home cooked turkey dinner and watching the Macy’s Day Parade.  It’s relaxing for the most part.  What are you doing?

Here’s what we have every year.  My mom has some serious skills in the kitchen, it’s not the most complex stuff but man is it amazingly good:

Deviled eggs
Celery with olive and cream cheese spread
Sweet baby dill pickles

Roasted turkey
Mashed potatoes with gravy
Sweet potatoes
Brussel sprouts
Cranberry sauce
Dinner rolls

Pumpkin pie
Pecan pie

Inpatient Tips

I have been having trouble coming up with posts to make which is why I haven’t written anything new in quite some time.  I guess I’m just not that creative, so if anyone has any ideas feel free to post them in the comments.

This topic came to mind today and I felt it is important to go over.

I have been in psych hospitals several times starting when I was a teenager.  Both voluntarily and involuntarily.  If you have the choice, choose to go voluntarily.  You get treated pretty much the same regardless at the hospital but the police will likely treat you like a criminal if they have to bring you there.

Here are my tips:

  • Bring clothes (stuff that doesn’t have strings attached) bring something warm because most hospitals are cold.
  • Don’t bring any sharp stuff
  • Participate in group.  You generally have several groups a day, at least that’s how the hospitals around here are.  Make sure you are active in them.  If you’re there involuntarily they will be looking to see your progress in the groups.
  • Advocate for yourself.  If you feel like something is wrong don’t hesitate to talk to the director of the program about your concerns.  I once had an incompetent psychiatrist who tried to get me sent to a residential facility even though I was doing 100 times better and it was only my first time being hospitalized and all the staff members agreed that I was doing much better.  Thankfully he discharged me once I was there for the max time.
  • Bring something to read.  There are several hours in the day where you aren’t doing anything, a book can help you escape mentally and make the time go by faster.
  • If your doctor says they’ll put a hold on you if you decide to sign yourself out (if you’re there voluntarily) listen to them and just wait until they decide to discharge you.  The last thing you want is to be there on an involuntary status, it will just keep you there longer.
  • Take the meds they give you, complying with the treatment is a big part of recovering.  If you have issues with any of your medications be sure to voice your concerns to the doctor.
  • Do NOT start dating another patient you meet there.  It is not the place nor time and you each have your own problems you’re trying to resolve.

I’m just putting down things that come to mind right away when I think about my inpatient stays.

It can be a wonderful experience.  Take advantage of the therapy and groups.  Get the help you need and most importantly be honest with your doctor.  If you’re not feeling better, don’t tell them you are, tell them the truth so they can help you.